Phone Call Confessions
by Cap'NCupcake
Summary: Completely dialogue conversations between Percy and members of Annabeth's family. "I like it when she tells me about her architecture. It reminds me of, like, a sexy librarian or something." ". . . I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."
1. Bobby

"Hey, uh, Matthew?"

"Bobby."

"Right. It's Percy. Is Annabeth there?"

"Yes, yes she is."

". . . Can I talk to her?"

"I'm sure you can."

". . . Can you give her the phone?"

"Let me just ask you something, Perce - can I call you Perce?"

"No."

"Let me just ask you something, Perce. How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"_Date _her? I find it impossible to be her brother. Half brother, at that."

"Uh -"

"I mean, how can you even stand her little annoying facts _all the time_? 'Elephants are the largest land mammals living today. There are currently three living species in the world: African Elephant, Asian Elephant, and the Indian Elephant. There are subspecies for each type, as well.' _Ugh__! _And that was just when we went to Elephant Bar. Can you imagine what it was like going to the Rainforest Cafe? Oh my god! I wanted to claw her face off."

"Um . . . I kinda think her random facts are cute."

"You're a disgrace to all men. What about the architecture? You have to find that annoying. One time, when I was, like, seven and she was making some blueprints, I asked her what she was drawing and she then began to tell me _all __about _support beams for the next hour and a half. I didn't even know what a support beam was."

"I like it when she tells me about her architecture. It reminds me of, like, a sexy librarian or something."

". . . I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

"Can you just give the phone to Annabeth already?"

"On a scale of one to ten, how good of a kisser would you say Annabeth is?"

"I don't feel comfortable answering that."

"Ouch. That terrible, huh? She said that you were twenty, give or take a hundred."

"She told you this?"

"Oh no. She told her diary this."

"Annabeth has a diary?"

"Yep."

"And you've read it?"

"_Am reading_, actually."

"I don't think she's gonna be too happy about that."

"That's the point."

"To get her pissed?"

"I'm gonna guess that you don't have a sister, Perce."

"No."

"The point in having one is to make her mad, embarrassed, unconfident, etc., etc."

"I really don't think that's it."

"Oh, trust me, it is."

"Can I please just talk to Annabeth?"

"Do your eyes seriously look like emeralds?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's from the diary. Wanna hear it? 'Dear Diary-'"

"I really don't need to hear this."

"'Percy called today. I miss him so much. I miss his laugh, and his tan skin, and my hands running through his soft hair, and his eyes. Oh his eyes. It's like there's little, tiny emeralds sitting in his eye sockets. They're like small ponds with fish swimming around in there. His eyes are like the cube off Transformers that turns all the Transformers to life, because when I look in his eyes, they make me feel alive.' Ha! That always makes me laugh! 'They're like-'"

"You don't need to continue. It's really okay."

"Oh, but there's a whole list here. 'His eyes are like tiny pieces of seaweed.'"

"Can you just give the phone to Annabeth? Please."

"Have you ever seen Annabeth naked?"

"Uh -"

"I'll take that as a yes. Have she ever seen _you _naked?"

"That was _not _a yes!"

"I'll take you not answering that question as a yes, too."

"We've never seen each other naked!"

"How sexual would you say your relationship is?"

"How old are you, again?"

"I'll take that as 'Ohmygod! We get it on like a prawn who yawns at dawn every second we're in the same room!' "

"What!?"

"It's cool, Perce. It'll just be our little secret. As long as you used protection."

". . ."

"Are you, like, rolling your eyes and taking deep breaths right now? My dad says I have that affect on people."

". . . I think I'm just gonna go now. Tell Annabeth to call me later."

"Cool beans, buddy. Nice talkin' to ya, Perce. _'Bobby what are you doing with my diary!?! Who's on the phone!?!' _Ah, damn."

* * *

I know it's kinda short and all, but I was bored, and this was the best I could come up with. And yeah, I did take one of the lines from 'Evil is My Middle Name' (check it out on my page, if you haven't read it already!) for the whole eyes thing. So yeah! Tell me whatcha thought!

I'm actually thinking about changing this into a fourshot, one for each memeber of Annabeth's family answering the phone when Percy calls. So is you want to see those you might want to put the fic on Story Alert, put me on Author Alert, or just be real observant in the PJO fandom.

And Elephant Bar and Rainforest Cafe are both retaurants with like animal themes, kinda. If you've never been to the Rainforest Cafe, you really should. It's so freaking cool! Ha ha! I don't own either of them!

Disclaimer: I am going to go kill a magician, and wear him as an outfit, to go to traveling to Hawaii. You made me do that all because I don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians or anything else I mentioned!

Oh goodness me, I've ran out of toilet paper! REVIEW! I _need _the new Guitar Hero! REVIEW! I super, super- REVIEW! I was gonna say I need a hooker. Like I said, REVIEW! I think I could help you out with that one *wink wink*. Jk, dawgs, jk!

:) Jordan


	2. Matt

"Hello?"

"_Crap_. Oh, uh, wrong number."

"No need for the fake accent, Percy, because not only was it terrible, but we have caller ID."

"Oh, well, uh . . . the phone repairman, yeah, he's gonna be here soon. So I better get -"

"No need to run away screaming, either. It's Matt, not Bobby."

"It is?"

"Yeah."

"Oh thank the gods."

"You don't have to live with him."

"Ha, yeah. Hey, is Annabeth there?"

"Yeah, she's in the shower."

"Oh, well, just tell her to call me when she gets out."

"Wait, did you seriously kill that Titan guy?"

"Uh . . . Kronos?"

"Mm hm."

"Yeah, I killed him."

"That is so _cool!_"

"Yeah, so just tell Annabeth to call me back."

"Have met a god?"

"I'm met them all, actually. Well, the major ones."

"Whoa. Is Zeus a meany? Cuz I always pictured him as a meany."

"We don't enjoy using the word 'meany' to describe the king of the gods."

"Oh, cuz he is a meany, so if you call him one he'll zap you off the planet."

"I'd _really _stop calling him that if I were you."

"Can you like move water and stuff?"

"Um, yeah, yeah I can."

"That's the coolest thing I've ever heard! Can you kill people with it?"

"Well, I don't usually use it to kill . . ."

"I would just use that all the time instead of like a sword - gasp! You have a sword right?"

"Yeah."

"That one that turns into a pen?"

"That's the one."

"Oh my god! Can you get those at Target, cuz I am so getting one the next time I get my allowance!"

"I don't think you can. I'm pretty sure it's one of a kind."

"Oh . . . well it's still so cool!"

"Yeah, so is Annabeth out yet?"

"No. _Mumble__,__ mumble__._ What Bobby? _Mumble, mumble. _Yes, it's Percy. Who else would it be?"

"I think I'll just go now."

"_Mumble__, __mumble__. _No, I won't ask him if he's had a three-way with Annabeth and that goat guy!"

"What!?"

"_Mumble__, __mumble__. _He said 'What!?' _Mumble__, __mumble__. _Percy?"

"Yeah."

"You're disgusting."

"What?"

"Bobby said that that meant that 'Yes, we have them every Friday in an Angus Steakhouse bathroom. Wanna join?' No, Percy, I would not like to join."

"I never said that!"

"_Mumble__, __mumble__. _Yeah he's denying it. _Mumble__, __mumble__. __Ewww_! I-I gotta go, Percy. I'm not supposed to hang out with people who are bad influences."

". . . _Okay_, just tell Annabeth I called."

"No, I don't think I will."

* * *

This ones a lot shorter and I don't like it as much, but whatever!

And you know you actually can buy little Riptides at the store! LIke there's pens and then there's swords and they're so cool! I want one for my birthday, ha ah!

I don't own anything!

Review, review, review!

:) Jordan


	3. Dr Chase

"Hello?"

"Oh, uh, D-Dr. Chase. It is Percy. Is your daughter available to talk this wonderful evening in February?"

"You know you don't have to talk like that, right?"

"I-I wasn't talking any different then I normally talk."

"Sure."

"So is Annabeth there?"

"Yes, she's actually in her room right now. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Yes."

"Just wait a second."

"Thanks."

"So Percy – "

"Oh gods."

" – You and Annabeth. You're going good?"

"Uh, yeah, I'd say so."

"Good, good. . . Actually it's not that good. No matter how hard it is to imagine, I was a teenager once. I know what it's like, the hormones raging and the pressure from your friends. You never know what's going to happen."

"I've already had this conversation with my mom and Paul before. It's really okay – "

"I understand that Percy, but you need to be alert. Maybe just like one or two in your back pocket – "

"This is really okay, Dr. Chase. Annabeth and I aren't planning to do this _anytime_soon."

"But you see, Percy, it's never really planned. I mean, you plan on just going to the library to check out some World War I books, but then she looks at you and you can't look away. She has some sort of glow about her, like she's a goddess or something. Her eyes are the most gorgeous things you've ever seen, and gray has suddenly turned into your favorite color."

"Dr. Chase?"

"And her hair is like a fern, or something else just as beautiful. And the next thing you know, you're making a virgin goddess not a virgin anymore in the taxonomy section of the library."

". . . Um . . ."

"Yeah . . . that was a great day."

"I think I'm just gonna go now, Dr. Chase."

"Oh, Percy. Sorry about that. That was in no way a real life story. Not at all."

". . . Uh huh."

"So as I was saying, you never know what's gonna happen."

"Yeah, well, look at the time. I completely forgot about my . . . appointment. I better get going."

"But I just got to Annabeth's room. You wanted to talk to her, right?"

"Yeah, but I've gotta go and try to completely erase this entire conversation from my mind, so I'll just call later."

"All right. I'll tell you all about the different types of STDs then."

"Oh . . . I can't wait."

* * *

This ones a even shorter than the last one, but I guess that's what happens when there's nothing but dialogue.

And I know Dr. Chase is OOC, so don't tell me about it. I also know that Athena and Dr. Chase most likely didn't get it on like a prawn who yawns at dawn, but this is my story, and I can make the characters do whatever the heck I want them to!

I don't own anything!

Review, review, review!

:) Jordan


	4. Mrs Chase

"Hello?"

"Oh, Annabeth. Thank the gods. Your dad and brothers are freaking _crazy – _"

"No, no, no. Percy, honey, I'm so sorry. It's not Annabeth. It's Marissa, her step mom."

"Oh, my bad. Well, is Annabeth there?"

"Yeah. I just heard her getting out of the shower. Wait one second."

"Thanks."

"So Percy – "

"_No__..._"

"How's everything going?"

"Fine, fine."

"You and Annabeth going good?"

"Yeah, I'd say so."

"That's good."

"Yeah. Mrs. Chase?"

"Yes?"

"Look, I really appreciate this and all, but if you're gonna give me 'the talk,' Dr. Chase already gave me that yesterday, so really, it's okay."

"He said that to you? My goodness, Fredrick's ridiculous. I'm just making small talk. I promise not to go all 'birds and bees' on you."

"Ha, thanks."

"You are just the sweetest boy I have ever met."

"Thank you, I guess."

"I'm so glad Annabeth's found someone like you. Someone so sweet and kind. I'm so glad that she didn't end up with someone like my old boyfriend, an idiotic, cheating moron. Are you an idiotic, cheating moron, Percy?"

"Uh. . ."

"Would you go out to the bar with your friends on Valentine's Day, leaving me all by myself at home, Percy? Would I have to find out, from _Jimmy's__wife_, that you left with that stripper named Candy? Huh, Percy? Would I?"

". . . Um, I–I – "

"Would you have left me if you knew I was pregnant? With twins? _Would_ _you_?"

"I – I don't know!"

"I know, I know. I should've told Fredrick a long time ago, I just couldn't. He was just so happy, and . . ."

"Uh . . . M–Mrs. Chase?"

"Hmm? Oh, Percy, dear. I–I'm so sorry. . . Promise me you won't tell anyone about what I just said. Promise."

". . . Uh huh."

"Good, good. _Sniffle__._"

"Are – are you crying? Cuz I really don't do good with crying people."

"I–I'm fine._Sniffle__._"

"Oh gods, you're crying. I – I don't know what to do."

"I'm fine, Percy. I think I'm just gonna go now."

"Oh, ok. But wait! What about Annabeth?"

". . ."

"Mrs. Chase!?"

". . ."

"Hello?"

". . ."

"_Dammit!!!_"

* * *

Aw, poor Percy. I feel so bad for him. Will he ever be able to talk to Annabeth? Not in my story! This is sadly the last chapter and this story has come to an end. I want to thank every single reviewer for all of your positive feedback and nice reviews and what not! Every single one of them made me jump with joy and go like crazy like a mad man. Thanks so much to each and every one of you!

I don't own anything!

Review, review, review!

Thanks once again!

:) Jordan


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